Susan G. Gibson age 14, of Portland, Maine, for Her question:
Why do people have tempers?
Temper tantrums, our own or other peoples, are problems. They concern the a motions, those feelings of love, fear and hate that live deep inside, Learning to cope with our emotions is one of the hard jobs of growing up. People who have temper tantrums past the diaper stage need to learn more about their emotions. Their friends need to learn how to avoid being scorched by these flare‑ups.
Experts in human emotions are called psychologists and psychiatrists, They tell us it needs spade work to find why this or that person blows his top for no plain reason. Such a tantrum is most likely a smoke screen, It hides some deep, hidden pain in the emotions. The person cannot face the hidden wound or even bear you to know about it. The sudden outburst lets off steam, it makes a smoke screen to hide the wound from himself and it scares you off from seeing the fears that are really hidden.
We all know fellows like Pete, He is easy‑going and pleasant day in and day out. You cant step on him and he won't step on you. Pete handles himself .. that is his emotions ‑ very well. He knows that proper anger saves him from being stepped on. Proper fear,, he knows, is to warn him from danger and protect him. Love, of course, is to warm the world, It helps us share and feel part of all manner of people and things. It is the magic behind friendship, the drive behind our special talents and interests.
Pete is on good terms with his emotions. He is not afraid to look them over honestly and be glad he has them. He knows he has a slight crush on his teacher, It doesn't throw him because he admits it aril, if he wants, can talk it over with someone he trusts. He knows he is a bit scared of Pop, But he can face the music when he goes too far disobeying orders.
Pete says his emotions are like ponies. They need fresh air and exercise. But ‑ he only lets them out with bridles. He is the boss, no matter how hard they pull at the reigns. , And so long as he likes them and gives then proper exercise, they like him to be boss.
Alec the broody type who blows his top for no good reason. His emotions are shut up until they burst down the stable door, He doesn't like them, fears them, they never had bridles and they tear all over kicking up the dust, Alec says he is not scared of anything. But an expert would likely prove him wrong. Chances are he is so scared of being hurt again by some old wound that he buries all his emotions, They burst out when something vaguely reminds them of the buried wound.
An expert, after the necessary spade work, could show Alec how to cope with that buried trouble, Chances are it is only an old bogeyman, terrifying only because he has not' dared to face it. But how can he know if he keeps this old hurt hidden from himself?