Welcome to You Ask Andy

Susan Zemaitis, age 10, of South River, New Jersey, for her question:

Why do gophers live in underground holes?

Some folks might say that a gopher stays below because the guilty pest is ashamed to show his face. Naturally, this is not the truth. But it does hint that the toothy fellow has some nasty habits to hide. Certainly a gopher in the harden is up to no good. But he does not live underground to conceal his crimes.

The main reason why a gopher lives underground is because this is where he finds his food. The toothy creature eats roots, especially those that belong to our favorite flowering plants and our most tasty vegetables. Zoologists class him as a ground squirrel and tell us that his range extends westward from the Mississippi. Fortunately this Pest of the West does not menace the gardens in and around New Jersey.

Your faithful reporter strives hard to paint a friendly portrait of all the animals he describes. For example, he even managed to find a near nice things to say about the wild and wicked wolverine. But a kind ,word for the gopher is much harder to find. The cunning creature strikes underground and makes sneak attacks on Andy’s  precious plants day or night.

From the gopher's point of view, life is a very different story. He would paint a very pleasant portrait of himself no doubt, as a busy character, blameless and innocent. Burrowing and tunneling down there in the dirt is hard work. Now and then he is rewarded when he comes upon a bunch of tender roots. He pauses to eat. Sometimes he manages to pull the leafy top of the plant underground and eats the whole thing. As he digs, he shoves the dirt ahead. Here and there he leaves telltale piles of this loose dirt on the surface.

Underground, the busy character keeps his burrows in apple pie order. He has a cozy bedroom and several pantries, which he fills with stores of stolen foods. He is neat and clean and also very particular about his personal grooming and hygiene. Of all thins, he always has his own personal under round toilet. When it becomes filled with his waste material, he seals it with dirt and digs out a new one.

The gopher's underground tunnels are just right for his way of life. He is out of sight and safe from owls, coyotes and most of the other hungry meat eaters. What's more, his favorite food is down in the soil. All he has to do is to dig around in the dirt to find his groceries. The only sad thing, of course, is that when he shows up in gardens, his groceries are liable to be the flowers and other plants treasured by the people who have planted and tended them.

 

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